Long Lost BLOG

Well I forgot I had started this blog.  I think lately I am in need of a place to stick thoughts and life happenings.  I am excited that God brought this back to me.

I need an updated picture though- haha the baby there is now 5.

Speaking of her...
Boy oh boy.
She started Kindergarten.  It's been a real tough transition. L was born at the at the height of my natural mindedness... if that's a thing.
I was a breastfeeding, baby wearing, oil using, non vaccinating, keefer brewing, mama.
I dont think she got out of the carrier for any significant period of time till she was well over two.
She nursed to well over two.  She was my girl after a 3 boy streak (I do have an older girl who is fabulous)  and I put bows and dresses on her like it was my job! (I suppose it was a bit)

SO she has gone from Mama 24/7 to 8 hour a day kinder.  I am so torn. She freaks out each morning. Like pried from my arms screaming freak out.   She comes home so tired and sleeps usually for a while.  Now, I do think our school is good, and her teacher too. BUT... is it necessary?  I can do (and have done!) kindergarten at home.  I could let her play and teach her letters.. I want that.  I also want her in school. Because,Although she is hesitant, due to a speech delay, she does love to play with other girls.  She gets bored and lonely at home.  I get often frustrated with her constant need of my being her playmate when I do need to run our home.  What is best for her?  I need our Lord to write it in the sky....

My weakness for distraction and self serving is keeping me from pulling her home quickly.  I dont know if I have it in me to rock Kindergarten and homeschool like I did a few years ago.  I was excited then and felt called. Now I feel overwhelmed at the thought.  I will do what I need to do.  I just dont know what is right.   I need prayers and I need to pray for discernment.

Well I better focus on my home and little 2yr old C-M at home...

Diligence in Peace.