Me Time!

I have always prided myself on being the type of mom who wants to be with my kids.  I mean all the time.  That is still true!  I love 'em.  I love home-schooling because they are with me all day.  I love to take them with me when I go places.  I love to hear what they have to say and I enjoy watching them grow, careful not to miss a step.
I was raised though, with an impression that left me thinking: "In order to be a good mother you must be a victim, you must pour out your life and keep nothing for yourself.  You must dress shabby so they can look good, you must look tired so they can sleep, you must remind them often of how much you sacrifice for them"  This sounds so noble doesn't it?  Oh so loving.    I see now... now that I am a mother, a wife, a woman, that this is a lie. 
Giving your children the example of a mother who takes care of herself is valuable.  Showing them that I am (and they see by example that they are) worth taking care of.  Even Jesus retreated from the crowds. I want them to know that in order to give like they should, they must be whole.  They need to take time to pray.  Take time to "re-create" them selves through recreation (Like that little play on words? =-P )  It's okay to know your boundaries by asking for help and to saying NO when it is due.  I don't need to fall apart in front of my family when I am at my wits end so they will pity me and let me get away for a bit.  I need to be the woman who plans time with my Lord everyday.  Who plans time here and there to get away for a bit  and take care of the daughter of God that I am. Then my hands are full to give to them.  We need to water our roots.  I wish I would have known this a long time ago.  I want to be an example of someone who knows how to give, and give generously, but I want them to know that it is good to love yourself (not to be confused with self absorbtion!) When I do these things I am a better wife.  I have love to lavish on my husband, and time and attention for my sweet little children.  I have peace.

The visitation

My Mom is visiting in a couple of days.  It has been a while since we have seen her!  Little L will seem like she has grown a bunch to Nana I'm sure.
I am hoping that the changes in me will be just as obvious.  I have been working in prayer to allow Jesus to help me be the type of woman who anticipates others needs, who can, in humility, allow unsolicited advice and even snide or annoying comments fade away and respond in charity.  It is often hard to deal with people in the present moment as we keep past hurts and memories that shape our responses to people.  I desire very much to be the woman that my daughters (and sons of course) can look at and know that I am doing my darnedest to have a heart like Mother Mary's heart.
 I am reading a book called Boundaries and it has helped me so much to to know  the fact that I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HOW AN ADULT CONDUCTS THEMSELVES.  I can only control how I react and I choose to react with peace.   It is okay to pause and tell someone that you need just a minute to process what they are saying before you respond.   I will continue to pray and read.... I also want to remind my self that listening to someone without inserting yourself into what they are saying, and then responding in charity, will bring peace.

We have a tummy bug going through the family.  Hubby came home early today and I feel such warmth when I get to serve him when he is sick.  (Not that I want him to be sick!:) We have been so blessed as of late, even when there is sickness in our house we seem to still get plenty of sleep.
Ike is a basketball and L is sleeping and the older ones are watching a movie.  I enjoy so much to come here and record my thoughts.  (If I had a glass of wine it may be even better, darn south beach diet) 
L turned one a few days ago.  I love that little bright light. She walks and climbs and says not a word unless I yell out one of the other kids names and she will mimic me.  N turns 7, I cant believe it...  7! in a few days and I love him too ahhhhhh where does time go?   "Don't cry that it is over, smile because it happened."  ~Dr Seuss
 Look back and smile... then move on in joy.  Deep breath... Life is so good.  Thank you my dear Lord.

Burf day

Tomorrow I turn 34.  I have 5 children a husband who loves me and who takes care of and treasures our family. I sit here watching Texas football and nursing a sweet little Lily.  I am who I want to be.  A daughter of God, Chris' wife, my children's mother.  There is someone close to me, who finds every reason not to own who they are, not to look at their life and say this is who I am and I am going to dive in and be the best at it.  I don't want miss any of this  beautiful life because I am looking around, or down, or back.   I am seeking God's will, and I trust that he made me because he wanted to, because I am good and I know looks at me with mercy so I don't have to go around worrying about how much He loves me, I see it all over.  I hope with joy that I grow in holiness and that I please Him.  I'm so blessed to know how to do that.  I need to love, love lots and deeply.  Love my family, love my neighbor, and love my self, yup love me enough to take care of my soul and my body (I love my family by doing this too)
I have a burden though, for my country.  I want to renew my desire to pray for it.   I know God wants good for the USA.