Lately my inner dialog has been like a little battle. My feelings are "self" seeking and my rational thoughts are speaking to "self" and telling her to do the right thing. I usually try to catch sourness on the plane of thoughts and root it out. I can tell it has been a while since I have been to confession when "self" begins to push out from within like a pushy bossy witch.
Oh how much "self" wants be defensive when someone has hurt her feelings, or stepped on her, oh so sensitive, toes. I have little eyes watching and little ears listening. Without the sacraments it is very difficult to keep "self" hidden from the delicate little ones in my care. I find my "self" complaining out loud about people I have taught them to respect. I find my "self" losing my temper about little things that I don't want to be important. I mostly end up hiding behind things (like computers or other meaningless activities) instead of engaging my children or husband.
So- He is my strength when I am weak and I once again turn my eyes toward heaven and ask my Abba Father to pull me out of the mess I've made, clean me up, and give me a white as snow garment to wear. He does.
Showing posts with label Prayer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Prayer. Show all posts
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Friday, January 4, 2013
Burf day
Tomorrow I turn 34. I have 5 children a husband who loves me and who takes care of and treasures our family. I sit here watching Texas football and nursing a sweet little Lily. I am who I want to be. A daughter of God, Chris' wife, my children's mother. There is someone close to me, who finds every reason not to own who they are, not to look at their life and say this is who I am and I am going to dive in and be the best at it. I don't want miss any of this beautiful life because I am looking around, or down, or back. I am seeking God's will, and I trust that he made me because he wanted to, because I am good and I know looks at me with mercy so I don't have to go around worrying about how much He loves me, I see it all over. I hope with joy that I grow in holiness and that I please Him. I'm so blessed to know how to do that. I need to love, love lots and deeply. Love my family, love my neighbor, and love my self, yup love me enough to take care of my soul and my body (I love my family by doing this too)
I have a burden though, for my country. I want to renew my desire to pray for it. I know God wants good for the USA.
I have a burden though, for my country. I want to renew my desire to pray for it. I know God wants good for the USA.
Friday, April 13, 2012
He is risen
Oh my goodness! Easter was a celebration. The songs from Divine Liturgy still echo in my head and make me smile. We stayed with our Church family for the whole day, and it was so fitting to celebrate our risen savior with them.
Chris will be returning today from a trip to Washington DC. He was there to attend an orientation for Diocesan Family life ministers. He stayed with the Franciscan friers and attended talks and discussions. With each call home he had something new to tell me. I delight in being the person he thinks of when he hears something great and wants to share that feeling. I imagine that is how our Lord sees us. When we see a beautiful sunset or feel a nice breeze and we lift our thoughts to heaven and say Thank You.
This morning I spent my prayer time reflecting on how much has been forgiven of me. It helps me to feel humbled to reflect back on my life and know that God not only forgives me for my failings and loves me anyway, he continually blesses me and protects me above and beyond. I think of my little Jake. Jacob is my 3 year old, he is often excitable and aggressive and tends toward the naughty. (He is sweet and loving too) I have noticed when I punish him he doesn't turn away from me but instead throws himself in my arms. It makes me feel good to know that even when I have to be harsh to teach him something important, that he knows he is safe and loved in my arms, that I am Mommy. How beautiful, this is a reflection of Our Father God. I often tell Jesus in my heart that I will not let go of Him, even when life sends me difficulties, or my own choices do not reflect the daughter of God that I am. I will still cling to him because there is no where better to be than in His arms.
Chris will be returning today from a trip to Washington DC. He was there to attend an orientation for Diocesan Family life ministers. He stayed with the Franciscan friers and attended talks and discussions. With each call home he had something new to tell me. I delight in being the person he thinks of when he hears something great and wants to share that feeling. I imagine that is how our Lord sees us. When we see a beautiful sunset or feel a nice breeze and we lift our thoughts to heaven and say Thank You.
This morning I spent my prayer time reflecting on how much has been forgiven of me. It helps me to feel humbled to reflect back on my life and know that God not only forgives me for my failings and loves me anyway, he continually blesses me and protects me above and beyond. I think of my little Jake. Jacob is my 3 year old, he is often excitable and aggressive and tends toward the naughty. (He is sweet and loving too) I have noticed when I punish him he doesn't turn away from me but instead throws himself in my arms. It makes me feel good to know that even when I have to be harsh to teach him something important, that he knows he is safe and loved in my arms, that I am Mommy. How beautiful, this is a reflection of Our Father God. I often tell Jesus in my heart that I will not let go of Him, even when life sends me difficulties, or my own choices do not reflect the daughter of God that I am. I will still cling to him because there is no where better to be than in His arms.
Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. John 6:68
We have a big decision to make regarding our Children, please pray for God to show us his beautiful will for their lives.
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