Out pouring

Well this busy life has kept me from writing about last weekend!
 On Sunday Lily was baptized, chrismated (Confirmation),  and received first holy communion.  Isaac, Noah, and Jacob received chrismation and first holy communion, and Grace only lacked chrismation. My children have been illluminated!  (if this troubles you or makes no sense click here) 
I am so excited that the graces of all the early sacraments have been poured out on them.  During chrismation Father Danny annointed all of their senses and even their feet, singing "be sealed with the gift of the holy spirit" (i think I have the words right) over and over. In those moments I was washed over with all the wonderful things my children will do in this world. 
Following Liturgy our dear friends had a party for us and it was perfect.  Lots of people came and I just couldn't stop smiling the whole day.  The children still don't quite comprehend all of it, but that is the beauty of the sacraments, you don't have to comprehend them for them to change your soul.  Thank you Jesus.
Last night was Academic museum at the kids school.  The children displayed projects and dressed according to the subject matter.  Parents are allowed to walk the halls and sort of "quiz" the kids.  The children always do such a good job and are so poised in their speaking. 
Ok. well, for love of my family I need to create some order in my home today.   Hubby is doing a retreat this weekend and I will have the monkeys alone.  I plan frozen pizzas, movies, and lots of cuddles.  I am hoping that on Saturday I can get a picture of the kids in the Texas Bluebonnets before they are gone agian.
 

Not coffee with Not Cream

Well I am trying to figure out what on earth is going on with poor Lily and her spitting up.  I have eliminated dairy, gluten, and coffee. She is spitting up less, I hope it keeps improving.  As I sit here I am drinking herbal coffee with Coconut milk in it.  It is not that good.  I feel really good though.  It also feels very lenten to step up the sacrifice in the second half.

 This morning I was feeling pretty on top of it, and once I entered into prayer I felt frustrated,  some days I am a rock star and others I am giving up the fight, with no apparent difference in my circumstances or prayer life. His Grace is enough every day, but yet I don"t respond-  

  My failures serve to humble me and remind me of my dependence on Jesus.

  I remembered something St Terese of Lesuex said,  She referred to herself as Jesus' "plaything"-  A toy subject to his will and this pleased her.  She says this after she visited Holy Father Leo XIII in child like hopes he would give approval of her entering into the Carmelites early , (she wanted so much to be a nun) his response was that it would happen when God willed it, so her entry was  delayed, she felt alone and she said "He [Jesus] let His little ball fall to the ground and He went off to sleep" She envisioned herself as a little ball for the Child Jesus to play with, but not to simply cast aside.   Terese went on to describe her hope, in-spite of the disappointment with these words; "Jesus dreamed He was still playing with His toy, leaving it and taking it up in turns, and then having seen it roll quite far He pressed it to His heart, no longer allowing it to ever go far from His little hand"   I want to be so devoted to Him, the lover of my soul, that I can regard my self as his plaything, at the complete mercy of His will, a brush for his hand and using only the paint he provides, not seeking after what I see as brighter or better. He knows the desires of our hearts.  They are important to him only after our salvation.  TRUST

I am so glad this has gotten me to get out my copy of  The Story of a Soul by St Terese, I have read it many many times, the pages are yellowed and dog-eared and written on, I think its time to read it again.  St. Terese pray for us

Saint Pat

It is so important to me that my children wear green today, to the point that I heard my husband say to Noah "You don't HAVE to wear Green." and I took it as a personal attack and accused him of sabotage-  I can't be sure why...

Well Spring Break is ending.  Having all the kids home is so nice.  My dear friend Kelly came to visit.  I love her so! Life is easier when she is here, we made Oreo cookie balls and had such a lovely time catching up.   alas...Back to reality...I am super sad to say good bye to our sleep in days and play dates at the park.  God could not have provided better weather this week, a little taste of summer fun. We even played in the sprinkler!

Sadly I found out that my  kind hearted uncle who is quick to smile and the first to help, has very extensive cancer.   My poor mom (this is her only brother) just had to bury her father and her own mother died when she was just a girl,  as you can imagine she is very worried.   My Uncle and his wife are the best of friends.  They travel all over and enjoy each other, I know my Aunt Donna is hurting so much.  I cant even imagine facing this, hoping that your spouse will live, and knowing that the treatment will cause them to suffer.   My prayer is for his healing, and for God to shower their souls with comfort and that they can find their way to REST in Our Lord and know that he is a loving father to them. 
I heard a song yesterday called blessings, I think it is a pretty popular song, but it's the first time I heard it and ... I want to put lyrics here they moved me so much yesterday-

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise.

After a Visit

My Mom just left.  It's always sad, a let down of sorts,  when you have a visitor and then they leave. Life is back to normal, which is beautiful, but it is nice to have an adult around all day to bounce things off of, or to pick up the slack.  My mom and I  differ some in our views of how children are to be raised, or homes are to be cleaned, and frankly my poor mother gets a bit overwhelmed by the business of our home.  When you add an extra element, even when they are helpful, it can bring on more stress than usual. We abandoned some of our lenten traditions and sacrifices while she was here, I am glad to get back on track!  I do miss her though. Hopefully she will be back soon.
Jacob and Isaac had birthdays on the 4th and 5th respectively. We had, at the last minute, friends over.  We had a fire in the back and roasted marshmallows.  I feel so blessed that I could call them a few hours before and they showed up ready to celebrate! 
I worked out this morning and when I returned (after hubby left for work) the boys were busy in a blanket fort and Lily was sleeping so I took some time to pray. I was reminded about a few things I have been neglecting in my life along with the fact that my time on earth isn't getting any longer.  Some tasks I should be more attentive to, and some human weaknesses that I don't keep in check like I should.   So I made a simple plan to pay more attention to these things.  I am going to commit it to paper, it helps me to remember.  Oh the spirit of Lent.  It is reflective and repentant.  I'm grateful for the grace to stop here in the middle and recommit.  I am off to have the first cup of coffee, of the rest of my life.