Balance (-ing act?)

I had such fun spending time with friends yesterday.  We did some much needed dishing and heart to heart talking.  (and a little drinking- a very little, it was morning after all...but apparently in Russia bloody Marys with breakfast are common)
I have been feeling so proud of my coffee making skills with the French Press and I finally make it for a guest and it was super bitter and way too strong-  and so I grew in humility.

I read a blog by a Catholic Mom a while ago, it was posted by several of my friends on FB-  So I clicked and read-
  The blogger said she went to visit a friend to help her with something, this friend of hers had the front rooms of her home clean, but when they went to the back rooms of the house, those rooms not commonly visited by guests, they were in disorder-  She went on to say how she felt like this woman only kept the rooms on display clean and how sad it was that she wouldn't clean the less seen rooms for love of her family.  So many people read the post and commented, praising this blogging Mother for getting to the heart of some matter.  I felt bad after I read it.  It fed into my insecurities as a mother and wife and host.
  Contrarily, I had to go to the home of a Lady I have lots of respect for  to order something for my older daughter.  This lady home schools her huge family, runs part of a co-op, she is beautiful, her children seem well behaved and she appears to be a faithful Catholic.  I walked into her house and it was a little messy.  THANK GOD!  She said something about "don't mind the mess", but it was unapologetic. We got to talking and she said something I have always thought.  As moms of Large families, we clean our homes to have people over (which is normal...)but we perpetuate a feeling among each other that everyone else is perfect.  We look at our own homes each day and know that we are not.  I am sad that I have not "been there"  for friends in need because of my need to appear put together.  I build a prison and the walls are made up of what people think. I have a bad habit of not having people over, not showing the hospitality that is in my heart because I am so worried about opening my home to friends and being vulnerable. Yesterday I did it. Because of  newborn Lily and recent sickness and Jacob potty training, my house was not as clean as I normally would think it should be to have people over...but...  I had people over, and guess what, my back rooms got seen and it was not a big deal. 
I am not saying we should not do our best to keep our homes in order (I value order highly!) I am not saying that we should not pay attention to detail so we can "proudly" offer our work to God our father.  I am saying we should relax.  Putting love of neighbor above tasks.  It lifted some of the sadness I had been feeling, and love begets love...because now I am thinking "who can I hang out with next...who can I make some horrible coffee for and laugh with."  :)